Wednesday, May 14, 2008

FDot receives a proposal!

It appears that I must exude some amount of sexiness I'm unaware of; for today, I received my first proposal from a total stranger on Myspace. I must admit that on one side it is a touch flattering to receive some attention as its been quite a while since I've had any. Quite a while. However, on the other side, it's a bit creepy. Let's see what I received. My comments will be in italics, plus the names have been changed, though as you'll see, he did a good job of that himself.

Subject: hiya [Hmmm...not technically a word, but OK]

Hey FDot, how's it going? I'm Bill from the North Bronx---and occasionally Hartsdale. [Two nearby areas, sounds plausible enough]

I was just browsing thru [not correct spelling] profiles of people who live around my area, and I came across yours. I liked what I saw! [How charming. Out of the many random profiles that were looked at, supposedly I'm the one who stood out. Not that he sent similar notes to many others.]

I know its [no apostrophe] strange enough receiving an e-mail from someone you dont [no apostrophe] know, so not having a pic in my profile can't make things any better. [You think? The profile has nothing; supposedly Bill here went to two high schools 23 years apart and had no information about himself listed]

It's just that I'm not "out", so that's why there's no pic. [Um, ??? I know this is a personal decision, but I doubt a picture of yourself on myspace automatically makes you gay.]

If you'd like, I'd send you my pic or i'd [not capitalized] go on webcam for you "live" so you can see me. [Wow, that's inviting. No doubt I'd need my credit card too.]

If you're into it maybe we can chat further on here or on the phone or instant messenger (mine is [redacted] on aim) or something. [Between the offer of chatting on Myspace, the phone and AIM, what is left for something to cover? That sounds ominous.]

I'm a nice guy, goodlooking, I workout 4x/week. [How would I know? You have no picture.]

I'm just a little iddy [iddy?] bit older than u----41. [Ugh. u? Really...YOU was too hard to type. No comment on the age, 41 is ok for me]

I play and teach tennis and I love basketball. I'm a [redacted] too. I saw on ur profile that ur an unemployed [redacted]. Was thay [typo] by choice? [ur...sigh. I redacted the job description just as a caution. No, my unemployment was not by choice, though that's an entirely different story.]

I'm sorry to bother you bother you if ur not interested, but if you are I hope to hear from you real soon man! [How cute, a stutter! At least he calls me a man.]

Joe [Here's where he lost me. If I was really desperate, I might play along and send a response back; but at the beginning of the letter, he said his name was Bill, and suddenly now it's Joe? You don't accidentally type your name incorrectly, I'm not sure what this is, but it's not something I'm going to respond to.]

So it looks like for the time being.....I will remain single.

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